Trump to Visit Rimersburg in Support of Kifer’s Proposed Border Wall

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Published April 1, 2018 4:30 am
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RIMERSBURG, Pa. (EYT) — President Donald Trump will visit Rimersburg this June in support of Mayoral candidate Dustin “Crowbar” Kifer and his plans to build a wall between Rimersburg and Sligo.

Kifer — a long-time friend of the President, who has served as a bathroom attendant with the Trump administration — has unsuccessfully attempted to land the position of Rimersburg Mayor thousands of times, running several campaigns that date back to the 1950s.

kifer

The Rimersburg native was able to convince Trump to come to Rimersburg after the President heard about Kifer’s plans to erect a border wall between Rimersburg and Sligo.

“Donny loved the idea,” said Kifer. “He said if it kept even one Sligonian from crossing into Rimersburg, it would be worth it.”

“It’s going to be the biggest erection this town has ever seen,” said Kifer.

Kifer plans to make the people of Sligo pay for the wall by legalizing marijuana and taxing it.

Kifer’s previous bids for Rimersburg’s highly-coveted mayor position fell short for several reasons including a dog fighting scandal; a two-year hiatus when he abandoned friends and family to go on tour with Taylor Swift; a year-long bout with diarrhea; and the death of his beloved cat, Count Flufferton.

Trump’s visit is set for June 31, 2018.

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